You Need To Get Laid
by painted-maypole
Summary: A few drinks, some sexual frustration and a mission later...
1. Chapter 1

_One hundred and fifty six (step), one hundred and fifty seven (step), one hundred and fifty eight (step)…_

'Madame President.'

She stopped counting her steps and turned to see who it was addressing her.

'Captain Thrace.'

'Taking the midnight, haunted tour of the old bucket?' Starbuck gestured at the corridor around them, following her statement with bulging eyes and lips shaped to let a woooOOOoooo escape, skipping to fall in step with the President.

'Hmm… Paper work. Needed to make sure I still remembered how to use my legs.'

'Ahhhh. The fun part of the job. Tell you what you should take a proper break. I was about to join some of the other pilots at Joe's for a drinkand i'm guessing you could do with one._' _

'I wouldn't want to intrude Captain. Besides I should probably be getting back to Colonial One.'

'Come on. When was the last time you let your hair down?'

'Well, I wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable, but if you insist.'

'Right. This way!' Starbuck stated gleefully, linking her arm with the Presidents. 'Call me Kara. What has you on Galactica today anyway?'

**One hour. 23 minutes. 18 seconds later.**

'We've gone through another bottle?'

'Why Laura Roslin you can drink!'

'Ha don't be laying the blame on me Racetrack.'

'Yeah careful Racetrack or you'll find yourself on the wrong side of an airlock.'

'Why Mister Hotdog what are you trying to imply?' Asked Roslin, giving her most presidential look. The others hooted in response to the exchange.

'We need another bottle!' Starbuck stated loudly slamming her glass down on the table.

'Just one bottle? I'm thinking at least three.' Roslin said whilst smiling sweetly at Captain Thrace.

'Here, Bloody Here!'

**39 minutes. 33 seconds later.**

'Oh my gods I can't breathe!' Laura Roslin gasped through bouts of laughter at the antics of the pilots.

'So Racetrack! Why exactly where you and Hotdog late for the briefing yesterday?' Asked Helo as he pulled up a chair to join the group.

'Don't answer that!' Yelled Hotdog.

'We were doing the nasty in storage room and his…' Her mouth was suddenly covered by Hotdog's hand, causing a cry of protest from the rest of the occupants on the table. All of whom had eagerly leant forward to hear the response.

'At least you're getting some! It's been a month and I think I've forgotten what sex is.'

'Hey! I haven't had a decent lay since New Caprica and I swear my virginity has grown back!'

'Oh Gods I miss sex.' Sighed Roslin sliding further down into her seat.

'When _was_ the last time you had sex Madam President?'

'About a week before the cylon attack.' She replied, drunk enough to not even hesitate before answering. Everyone stared at her in shock.

'Are you serious? How have you not spontaneously combusted yet?'

'Woman you need to get laid!'

'You mean you haven't been frakking the Admiral?'

'You better watch your mouth.' Starbuck hissed grabbing the owner of the last remark and stepping into their personal space, only just beating Helo to it. Helo settled with sending the rookie a glare.

'Everyone's been having sex but me? Gods that's not fair!' Roslin said ignoring the previous remarking and looking rather put out. Starbuck released her victim and turned back to Laura.

'Big mouth here has a point, you and the Admiral practically eye-frak every time your in the same room. I'd have told you guys to get a room if I hadn't got bored of the decor in hack. So it's not like you couldn't get some.' There were some murmurs of agreement and Roslin shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

'Sharon's commented on the way Zarek looks at you before. I'm sure he would be more then happy to… err…' Helo's voice faded, not nearly drunk enough to feel comfortable with the subject.

'Is it really appropriate to be frakking with people below you in your chain of command?'

'Shut it Racetrack! This is an emergency. This woman needs to have sex.'

'Mission? Need's to get laid. Aim? Get someone to frak the President.'

'I think the President's perfectly capable of getting someone to frak her by herself.' Roslin, having remained quiet for the last few minutes, suddenly stood up and did up the buttons on her jacket.

'Hey where ya going?' Slurred Hotdog. She downed the last of her drink, dropping the empty glass on the table and turned on her heel making towards the exit.

'To get laid.'

A chorus of cheers greeted her response.


	2. Chapter 2

Bill looked up as Laura entered the room. Noting her dishevelled appearance and slightly erratic movement he couldn't help a small grin.

'Been drinking?'

'Hmmm… I have a new appreciation for your crew. No, don't get up.' She slipped her jacket off and let it drop on the floor. Moving in front of him, she gently lifted his chin and then started to lean in. He looked at her questioningly.

'I have a mission to complete.' She whispered huskily in answer before placing a kiss on his lips.

'What kind of mission?' She silenced him with another kiss.

'Laura, what are you doing?'

'Do you know how long it's been since I've had sex? Over a desk, practically fully clothed. One week before the cylon attacks and I didn't even cum. Why should everyone get to have sex but me? When was the last time you had sex?' He stood warily. Forcing her to take a step back.

'I think you need some coffee.'

'Coffee? What I need is a good hard frak. I'm sick of the only orgasms I get being self-achieved. It's just not as satisfying and no where near as fun!' She gently trailed her hand up and down his arm.

'Please, Bill.' He stared at her but didn't respond.

Her hands began working on his jacket. He still didn't respond, yet he did nothing to stop her. She smiled at him sweetly as his jacket fell to the floor, before placing a kiss on his neck and reached for the bottom of his tanks. He grabbed her wrists and her eyes raised to meet his as he continued to stare.

'Kiss me Bill.' He let go of her wrists but didn't move to kiss her. She removed his tanks and he let her. Now bare-chested her hands explored his chest while he stood there passively letting her.

She traced his scar. Squeezed his forearms. Wrapped her arms around him to run her hands down his spine. Traced her fingers along the top of his trousers. Eventually she stepped back, lifting his palm to place a kiss against it.

She trailed her lips up along his palm, her lips moving to suck the tip of his finger. She watched as his pupils dilated, shifted her stance and then… tripped.

'Frak!'

'Laura? You okay?' She could hear the suppressed laughter in his voice and slapped away the hand that reached down to her.

'Frak you, you asshole.' She tried standing but found herself on her ass again and this time he did laugh. She kicked off her heels and without them she managed to stand.

'I'm glad you find this amusing Admiral. I do believe we're done here. Bet Tom's better in bed then you anyway.' He just laughed harder.

'Ow!' The shoe bounced off his head and he glared at her. She stared back at him defiantly.

'Apologise.'

'No.' He grabbed for her but she dodged him.

'Don't you dare touch me.' She hissed but he went for her again anyway. A small struggle and she found herself with her back pinned against his chest.

'Oh you're going to pay, Bill Adama.'

'You have drunk way too much.' She groaned in frustration and her head fell back against his shoulder.

'I just want someone to frak me.' She sighed.

'Frak you how?' He whispered in her ear as his hands dropped to her skirt and began to pull it up. She froze, making no attempt to move. He cupped her through her knickers.

'Frak you how, Laura?' His hand squeezed.

'Touch me. Please touch me.' His hand started flexing against her rhythmically, his other hand letting go of her skirt and straying to squeeze her breast through her shirt.

'Where?' She bucked her hips into his hand in answer and moaned. His hand slipped into her knickers and started stroking in the same rhythm his hand had been flexing.

'Here?'

'Oh Gods, yes.' His hand stopped moving.

'Then say sorry.'

'What?!' She tried to jerk away but his arm held her in place.

'Say sorry for throwing your shoe at me.'

'Bill you are an…' His finger slid along her in one slow, sensual stroke.

'Ohm… Yes sir, sorry sir.' He grinned and his hand started moving, his rhythm faster now. Her hips moved in time with his hand and she began making little desperate noises at the back of her throat. He let go of her breast moving to grab her hair, twisting her head round so he could swallow the sounds she was making.

He took her over the edge. Fighting to keep hold of her as she bucked against him. His hand still working her til she was soft and pliant in his arms.

'Hmmmmmm… that was… ohm…'

'But of course, I'm sure Mister Zarek is better.'

'Bet Zarek would have had me naked and in bed by now.' He let go of her abruptly and she stumbled but stayed standing. She turned to look at him and he was staring at her dangerously.

'Strip. Now.'

'No, "Your so drunks"?'

'Now.' She smiled.

'Yes Sir. Whatever you say Sir.' He stood and watched as she clumsily divested herself of her clothes.

'Now get your fat lazy ass into my rack, Roslin.' Her smile widened and she happily complied, listening to the sound of his footsteps as he followed her.

She sat on the edge of his rack and watched as he stood in front of her and undid his trousers. Then just as he was about to step out of them she grabbed him.

'Frak.' He gasped. He found himself lying on his back with Laura straddling him. His trousers wrapped around his ankles.

She laughed. Her hand found him. She traced patterns gently along his shaft with her fingertips. Then they both moaned, as she slid over him. She worked her hips, rotating them and squirming til he filled her. Then she paused. Adjusting to the feel of him. Fighting to remember how to breathe. He bucked up hard.

'Oh Gods! Wait!'

'Wait? Your…' She cut him off with a kiss.

'Just… Just one minute. Just give me a minute.' She worked on breathing in and out as her fingers toyed unconsciously with his nipples. He shut his eyes struggling to keep still beneath her.

'Please Laura.' She let a giggle slip from her lips and then her hips began to move. He let her set the rhythm, moving in sync with her.

She tried adjusting speed and depth. Measuring his responses. Listening to his grunts and moans. The sound of him sliding in and out. The sound of skin meeting skin. Then his finger found her again and she stopped being aware of anything but the pressure building in her own body.

'Oh Gods, oh Gods…' Her hands clenched into fists, her eyes squeezed shut and she fought the sensation threatening to explode her world.

'Frakking cum, Bill dammit!'

'Yes Mam. Trying Mam.' He hissed. Then her world did explode. Her hips bucked erratically and her inner muscles clamped down on him hard. The feeling drove him over the edge and sent him driving hard up into her one last time, drawing a scream from her lips.

Eventually their breathing slowed and she collapsed on top of him. Small after shocks travelled through her body as he stroked his hands up and down her back, squeezing her butt on every pass.

'Gods. I want to do that again.'


End file.
